In a general statement, I hate all holidays. It’s not that I am a “Grinch” towards them all, I actually used to look forward to them when I was younger, but then my world was ripped apart by a metaphorical tornado. It was never able to recover.

I celebrate, in my own way, the holidays for my children. I try to give them a slightly memorable experience so they don’t feel excluded in discussions in school, family gatherings, or in random questioning frim nosy strangers. We talk about what the holiday at the moment is really meant for, and we do whatever is planned at that time. Plain and simple. They enjoy it, and since they are younger, and it has been explained to them early on why Mommy doesn’t do what the grandparents (or other extravagant family members) do, they don’t make a big deal about why things are not the same in our home. Nice, right?

As I stated before, I used to enjoy the holidays. I used to spend most of them with my dad’s side of the family or, in a very memorable way, [in separate households] with my parents, depending on the day. I definitely found a great love for the Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas…but now. Now, those are my most loathed holidays, especially the days leading up to them.

Once the tornado came in, they ruined a lot, especially a lot of family norms. They made family gatherings officially nonexistent, at least for my family. They made things miserable and impossible. What once was fun was now looked at with despair and longing. They even found a way to ruin my birthday every year! And that’s not even a holiday!

I dealt with it for years, but the damage was done. I haven’t been able to, obviously, bounce back from it. I just have this feeling of disgust when anything holiday related sweeps through the stores. A lot of sadness is bottled up inside me over all of this, watching happy families collect their items to celebrate. I will never again have that joy.